there's so much to do even though last days na...
argh... not much time pa.
to hell with everything!
all i want to do is sleep...
T_T

annoying.
this world (and my existence) is plain annoying.

darn it, why should life get even more complicated for me?!
it's becoming a burden.
before, it was so simple.
now, i'm really seeing my existence as a cursed one.

i'd suffer gladly if you were suffering as well.
but seeing that you don't give a damn and you're happily caught up in your own bubble...
i might as well don't give a damn, either.
i'd like you to know...
you're causing some of the complications...
so might as well back off for a bit.

i seriously need a breather...
even reading that manga annoys me.
heck even seeing a picture more than five times irritates me.
what's with me?!
hayyy...

darn, might be because of too much sun (grad practice).
(maybe) the heat went to my head and my brains went haywire causing this mess.

hopefully tomorrow would be a chocolate-covered sunshine-y day (that nobody can't deny!)

hey life, i had my fair share of annoyance today...
my quota of badtrip-ness is already full as well...
so...
stop being so freaking annoying already!!
at least let me sleep in peace.
T_T

how sad...

i didn't think i'd cry over this manga because it's so light and subtle but then...
oh well T_T

as i thought it's really hard to fall in love with your best friend especially if you treat each other as siblings... but it's harder if you've fallen in love to a girl who fell in love with your older brother.

thing is, you like her for being simple and dense; for always being there playing games with you since way back when and she likes your older brother for the very same reasons... ouch!

she says you're special just like a brother... a family but your older brother is more than family to her.

you are always by her side all this time, loving her silently while she's loving your older brother while staying by your side.

you treasure every moment spent with her even though you're treating her like you don't know she's a girl such that it wouldn't be awkward for the both of you... and she wouldn't care you're a guy... then, more moments with her.

but then... she'll see you as her brother all the more.

she tells you, she's looking forward to your brother coming home and you put a strong facade, wearing your mask in silence, looking like you don't care... that you don't see the twinkle of excitement and anticipation in her eyes...

and you sigh inwardly because your heart starts hurting and you can't do much about it...
[nag-hug pa sa harap mo!!]

and then your older brother's fiancee comes along... and you see the sadness in her eyes as she tries to take it all in and still act normal.

you sure will be comforting her tomorrow while she cries her heart out... and you hug her while she cries over him.

see what a mess love is?

i cry for you ryuu! you're too good-looking for chizu anyway...

~wow, tagal ko na 'di nagblog kahit super daming time.
*ehemalmostwholedayarawarawonlineehem*

oh well. haven't slept yet :))

The Guardian

As an ESTJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.

ESTJs live in a world of facts and concrete needs. They live in the present, with their eye constantly scanning their personal environment to make sure that everything is running smoothly and systematically. They honor traditions and laws, and have a clear set of standards and beliefs. They expect the same of others, and have no patience or understanding of individuals who do not value these systems. They value competence and efficiency, and like to see quick results for their efforts.

ESTJs are take-charge people. They have such a clear vision of the way that things should be, that they naturally step into leadership roles. They are self-confident and aggressive. They are extremely talented at devising systems and plans for action, and at being able to see what steps need to be taken to complete a specific task. They can sometimes be very demanding and critical, because they have such strongly held beliefs, and are likely to express themselves without reserve if they feel someone isn't meeting their standards. But at least their expressions can be taken at face-value, because the ESTJ is extremely straight-forward and honest.

The ESTJ is usually a model citizen, and pillar of the community. He or she takes their commitments seriously, and follows their own standards of "good citizenship" to the letter. ESTJ enjoys interacting with people, and likes to have fun. ESTJs can be very boisterous and fun at social events, especially activities which are focused on the family, community, or work.

The ESTJ needs to watch out for the tendency to be too rigid, and to become overly detail-oriented. Since they put a lot of weight in their own beliefs, it's important that they remember to value other people's input and opinions. If they neglect their Feeling side, they may have a problem with fulfilling other's needs for intimacy, and may unknowingly hurt people's feelings by applying logic and reason to situations which demand more emotional sensitivity.

When bogged down by stress, an ESTJ often feels isolated from others. They feel as if they are misunderstood and undervalued, and that their efforts are taken for granted. Although normally the ESTJ is very verbal and doesn't have any problem expressing themselves, when under stress they have a hard time putting their feelings into words and communicating them to others.

ESTJs value security and social order above all else, and feel obligated to do all that they can to enhance and promote these goals. They will mow the lawn, vote, join the PTA, attend home owners association meetings, and generally do anything that they can to promote personal and social security.

The ESTJ puts forth a lot of effort in almost everything that they do. They will do everything that they think should be done in their job, marriage, and community with a good amount of energy. He or she is conscientious, practical, realistic, and dependable. While the ESTJ will dutifully do everything that is important to work towards a particular cause or goal, they might not naturally see or value the importance of goals which are outside of their practical scope. However, if the ESTJ is able to see the relevance of such goals to practical concerns, you can bet that they'll put every effort into understanding them and incorporating them into their quest for clarity and security.

http://www.personalitypage.com/ESTJ.html

i woke up earlier than my biological clock would have me wake up.
what an annoying start... got to wake up because lc's calling.
so much for asking them to notify me, whenever i'm around, if my friends are calling.
meh, i had a nice headache for breakfast.

even if i woke up relatively early, i was 20 minutes late. i was earlier than lc of about a few seconds :))
meh, we went to the third floor for our grades.

first subject was STR... pero super fun because WE PASSED!!!
next econ... one step up... woooot.
super fun... everything was going up.
super sayang nga lang yung ibang tenta na 1.0 and 1.25... i wish they would give them na lang as grad gifts but i'm loving the teachers already.
thanks for giving me wonderful grades... :))

"kayo naman gumawa nun, eh."-sir gerson

whatever. without you, hindi rin namin yun magagawa.
then we celebrated sa trinoma time zone...

meh, to be continued na nga lang. dito na si kuya.
siya na daw... :P
oh well. hahaha. i have all the time in the world.
besides nothing can spoil my day... yet.
bbye.

i found another super nakakakilig na manga.
one-shot ulit.
written by the same person like "1/3 no kareshi".
though the characters look annoyingly alike (alike sa 1/3 no kareshi), cute pa rin.
as in parang younger version ni kogure si ken and shorter-hair version ni rei si akane, okay lang.

i won't include the synopsis.
title pa lang give-away na eh. :P
please read: "uso to koi no hajimari" by shimaki ako

something really funny happened yesterday.
i was walking with my mom and my cousin from church.
i was eating roastbeef piattos when, somehow, i choked.
i asked my mom for a number.
she said ♥♥. usually hindi niya tinotolerate yung mga kalokohan ko pero, haha, pinagbigyan ako.
the first and maybe last(hopefully not!) na pagbibigyan ako ni mama sa number blah ang number ay ♥♥ pa!
wag kang mag-alala naalala rin kita sana nga lang nabulunan ka.
saka natisod kasi nung sinabi ni mama "♥♥" natisod ako and tumawa ng tumawa.
nakakamatay pala kapag may nakaalala sa'yo. :P

oh well... so much for being remembered.

nag-bra-browse lang ako ng mga one-shot mangas or basta super short mangas na madali kagad matapos.
nakakita ako: "1/3 no kareshi"
synopsis:

Fukada Rei is a cute but up-tight third year high school student, one of the only girls her age without a boyfriend. One day, someone stops her while she was walking to class and asks to take her picture. Rei is confused, but says yes. He takes the picture, and when Rei asks why he tells her her underwear is completely showing. He says he'll delete it later, but only if they meet again at the same place at lunch. Afraid that he'll show it to her class mates, Rei agrees, and every day afterward she meets him for lunch. But what will Rei do when he confesses to her–and she realizes she loves him, too?

it's really really cute. ang ganda ng twist. :))

"i'm sure the only reason you've been alone and unnoticed is so you could fall in love with me" -kogure yuuya

disclaimer: hindi sakin to nakuha ko lang 'to sa blog ni kuya gian dapul na hindi ko alam kung pano ko napuntahan. seriously :))

oh well here goes: (apparently nakaw lang din 'to :P lol)

---

[nakaw lang 'to kay Drew, pero super aliw siya. and very true. so, yeah, i suggest to all guys, repost, and to all girls, read. and reread. kung di ka tamaan ng malakas, tumawa ng malakas. :p]

Ever wonder, "what happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were f*cking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an a$$hole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've f*cked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the sh!t and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't f*cking want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy

---
well hindi 'to totoo sa'kin kasi NEVER HAD pa rin ako.
yes, until now NBSB ako but i don't really mind kasi... well, lahat naman kaming magfrifriends eh and bata pa naman ako :)) hindi ako nagmamadali, i still have a lifetime ahead of me na hopefully hindi ko ma-waste na i doubt na hindi ko maiwasan.
and no, hindi nakapagtataka yun. :P

let's wait and see kung mangyayari 'to.
hopefully not, though.
i should know better now... :P

kaninang nag-online ako totoo talaga yung stat ko na:

my morning starts to shine with teardrops in my eyes

kasi gumising ako na may fresh tears sa cheeks ko...
emo! well... a bit kasi alam ko kung bakit ako umiiyak.
unlike sa laging nangyayari na na-o-autistic yung eyes ko at nagrarandom tear-up... this time my reason na! bobo nga lang... oh well... i'll never be normal.

may dream kasi ako... pero ayoko ikwento dito because
1. bobo siya
2. nakakatawa na nakakahiya
3. uhh, hindi ko rin alam kung magegets ng mga people na hindi close sakin (baka nga kahit yung mga close sakin hindi pa rin nila magets eh :P)
4. hindi ko nga alam kung dapat pa siyang ikwento at all eh :))

nasaktan ako sa dream at apparently totoong napaiyak ako (akala ko sa dream lang ako umiyak :)) ) kahit hindi naman supposedly (or baka akala ko lang na supposedly hindi ako mahuhurt pero mahuhurt talaga ako kasi hindi ko lang tinatanggap)

hahaha... how much more austistic could this day get? oh well... let's find out... play na namin (the tempest na musical! saka nila ianne: romeo and juliet)mamaya! wala lang. :))

masarap kumain ng apple... saka marami akong natutunan ngayong morning pa lang. sana hindi ako ma-emo kagaya kahapon sa practice. sana mabangag ako kagaya nung afternoon. kailangan ko ng volleyball pero nabutas namin siya kahapon.
lc, condolence. T_T

ayun lang... papasok na ako baka patayin pa ako.

~>"i need a boyfriend really bad, are you really bad?"-random keychain sa tickles sa trinoma. :))