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Tuesday, April 27, 2010♥
badtrip-ness


badtrip kagabi si kuya.

when he came home yesterday night, he saw my sboard and the scooter.
there's this thing with him that he has to have a say in everything even if he doesn't have any direct connection with it.
he tries to give everyone his thoughts...

kaya nung makita niya yun bigla siyang nabad-trip

kapag badtrip si kuya karaniwan maraming sinasabi, nagsesermon and namumuna about the most random [and most absurd!] things.
pati yung mga things of the past inuungkat... basta kung ano lang maisip niya.

yung mga usual stuff na pinababayaan niya lang bigla niyang pupunahin.
pati sila mama pagbubuntunan niya ng galit...

he always tries to make people do this, do that out of whim kapag badtrip siya.
kapag medyo okay na siya, he would try to make it lighter by talking about trivial stuff like what he did...

and when he's badtrip, that's when i always look the worst.
i get blamed on a lot of stuff i know i didn't do.
kahit minsan coincidences lang i still get blamed
for the sake of his knowing the situation and coming to a conclusion.

from experience, i would try to reason out, but when things are really bad, i talk back sarcastically, that's what he hates the most.
getting riled up, he would yell at me and tell me i'm this, i'm that usually along the lines of me being stupid, irresponsible, careless, clumsy... just about every bad adjective in the dictionary.

and i would shut up, glare ahead and sulk. listening and rebuffing everything in my mind, i don't voice out whatever i'm thinking, i might as well take my life.

as always, when i'm badtrip, i'd cry...
from back when i was still a child, my brother would tell me to shut up and stop crying.
unlike before, i can now stifle my sobs but i can't hold back tears successfully yet... still learning that.

when, after sometime, he realizes that i'm telling the truth, that it wasn't me... he would shut up and try to be nice to me...
that's when i gloat and congratulate myself in my head.
he would never say sorry, he'll only give excuses...
and i'll gladly take them... sweet victory!!

for his pride, i shut up.
i'll give him that.


ends at 8:58 PM